This list isn't catagorized by any means. It's my web history from this past month.

Enjoy!

collegehumor.com
failblog.org (and *almost* all of its sister websites)
www.todaysbigthing.com
www.cuteoverload.com
www.fmylife.com
www.tfln.com
www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com
www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal
www.cnet.com
www.dlisted.com
www.perezhilton.com
myparentsjoinedfacebook.com
www.wimp.com
www.deviantart.com
www.pixelgirlpresents.com
www.foundmagazine.com
www.postsecret.com
www.answers.yahoo.com
www.manbabies.com
www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com
www.ugliesttattoos.com
www.dontevenreply.com
www.photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com
meowmania.jqln.org/
5secondfilms.com
www.comingsoon.net (This is not a porn site... I promise)
www.npr.org
www.etsy.com
http://agirregabiria.soup.io/
http://wandi.soup.io/
http://mendel.soup.io/
http://joannecasey.blogspot.com/
http://www.brainlesstales.com/
http://tri-ops.blogspot.com/
http://www.pxleyes.com/
http://filthyphil.tumblr.com/
http://blackadder.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahanimals.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahpuns.tumblr.com/
http://shitmykidsruined.tumblr.com/
http://thisisphotobomb.com

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This list will make you die from epileptic shock, despise animated GIF's, wonder why people prefer backgrounds that are rainbow colored and move, hate text that is impossible to read, hate midi even more than you ever did and wonder about the future of humanity... all in one!!

1. THE MOST AMAZING WEBSITE EVER

This webpage just doesn't lie. I mean, the domain name, that is. This website is an epileptic's worst nightmare. (I feel like I'm going to be saying that quite frequently with this list...)

I know, I'll give the guy a break since it is his "ISYS project." He probably was the hero of that class, actually. But.. by making this webpage, he has also probably killed many unsuspecting epileptics by thinking they were going to the blog The Best Page in the Universe, which is actually amazing.

Here's you go... http://www.themostamazingwebsiteontheinternet.com/

2. Accept Jesus as your personal savior, or else.

Nothing will make you love jesus more than visiting this website, honestly. Also, check out the security warning at the top of the page... priceless... "You are possibly not secure in your own personal faith. Trust God solely through His son, Jesus, for the forgiveness of all your sins and the free gift of eternal life." Uhg....

I don't know if they realize this... but making their website rainbow themed makes it a little gay... And we all know how much Jesus loving folk adore those gays.

Here's you go... http://www.dokimos.org/ajff/

3. Big Head Caps

Not only does this website not understand it's horrendous animated GIF usage, it utilizes it to an extent where my eyes started to bleed by just looking at it.

AMAZING! This gif totally shows how fucking flexible these fucking hats are!!!~!~~

Here's you go... http://www.bigheadcaps.com/flexiblecaps.html

4. LOL!

Okay, let me make myself clear on this one. I totally respect this woman and I want to marry her. Alright, now that that is out of the way, I hope she also dies. (Well, maybe not...) Nothing tells your prospective clients that you know how to butcher HTML like having a homepage that does that and more. Also, the constantly running cheetah gif tells people that she can make a professional and yet, cool design for your company page. (I really can't describe my adoration for this woman. I should have her re-do my blog as well.)

I also really love the gif to send her an email. Because a simple, "click here" button just doesn't have enough flair.

The added bonus of a free hit counter at the bottom of the page really personifies the professional look as well. (For those of you that are going to immediately scrutinize me for doing the same, I give no fucks. None.)


Here's you go... http://www.lolworld.com/

5. Pony Ranch

Gotta love the added effect of balloons endlessly flying up your page, especially when it has absolutely nothing to do with what your site is about. This is also another example of illegal text/background usage. ::sigh::

Here's you go... http://www.arhorseranch.com/soldhorses.htm

6. Computer Lessons

I love it when text and links overlap so you can't fucking read shit. (Not that I ever really had that goal with this winner of a site.) Bud looks pretty sexy, though. At least this page has that going for it.

I'm really starting to doubt how much Bud really knows about computers...

Here's you go... http://www2.wcoil.com/%7Enharbison/

7. Songs for Lovers

This midi music makes me want to fall in love with the next person I see.. well, maybe shoot them. No, not them, shoot myself. You gotta love the usage of the repetitive guitar sound in this one. Sooo good. That's it, I'm "saving source as" and putting this one on my iTunes. Yesss.....

This page is actually for a newly wed couple. I feel sorry for them. Oy, I hope that they fired the asshole that made this webpage in dedication to their big day.

Here's you go... http://www.jamesness.com/

8. Get yer free rainbow dividers here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The excessive use of exclamation points in your title just emphasizes the awesomeness of your page, no really... it does.

This site offers many gorgeous rainbow dividers to spruce up any old site. Not only do they have no categorization for these gems, they are put sporadically all over this mess.

Also, the lovely "Clock Cursor" is the best way to remind your visitors how much of their life they have wasted on your site waiting for it to load because that fucking cursor takes for fucking ever on every browser. Also, changing your cursor to a wait sign won't make your visitors think the page is still fucking loading (from the damn clock thing) and leave...

Here's you go... http://rainbowdivider.com/

9. Birthday Entertainment

This is possibly the scariest shit I've ever seen. I'll just let you come to your own conclusion about it...

Here's you go... http://www.familyfriendlyenter.com/

10. Yvette's Bridal Formal

I've saved this one for last because it is the absolute most horrendous usage of every HTML code discussed above and more. HOLY CRAP! I really hope that this website isn't for real. I could find out for you, but I'm scared that if I call the number on there, I'll die instantly.

I'd also like to add that the recording Vivadi's Winter is just what this page needed to be on a different level of class...

There's nothing like confusing your visitors to the point of anxiety attacks.


Here's you go... http://yvettesbridalformal.com/index.htm

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1. Ping Pong Balls
Honestly, how many college students take the art of ping pong that seriously? I'm sure that 80% of the market for these among bros ages 18-24 are for beer pong. I don't think I've ever met someone in college that actually plays ping pong...

2. Milk Crates
Alright, I know that these are rarely bought, but found... but I severely doubt that anyone crates milk in these. These are the number one structural device for furniture construction amongst poor college kids.

Also, apparently, they are used for a game called 'Crate Ball.' I can't say I've ever played this... but I'm assuming it is just as bad-ass to fat frats dudes as 'Corn Hole.' (Or to you non-cornfield schoolers: 'Bags.')

Here is a website called The Milkcrate Digest. People can get creative with these plastic boxes. Here is an impressive milk crate briefcase. Wow, I would actually respect anyone with this.

3. Christmas Lights
These are a great investment to create angelically lighted winter land wonder during the holiday season. Also, they are a cheap alternative lighting device for any dorm room.

4. Radar Detectors
The original and non-illegal usage for these have been lost in my mind. If you're not tracking cops when you're drunk driving, what the hell are you doing?! ...But really, I would never drive drunk... ever. (I must say this for legal purposes.)

5. Duct Tape
Are we ever taping ducts? I know this isn't a trend just among college kids... but really... what is a duct?

People have gotten really creative with this shit. I've seen crazy stuff made with duct tape. Beyond the usual multi-purpose-fixes-every-g'damn-thing.

Look at these guys... jesus. I don't know whether to respect them, or to injure them. (Well, maybe assault is a little extreme in these times. ...but just a little.)

Here are a few more pictures because this shit just doesn't get old.

But wait... this get's worse. There is a scholarship offered to the sorry asshole that can make the most obscene duct tape ensemble. Here's the website. Honestly, this is foh real.

6. Post-its
How many college kids actually use these for reminders? They are way too entertaining for that shit. 'Specially when they come in so many bitchin' colors. I've seen way too many videos on CollegeHumor.com with drunk bros post-it-ing their other drunk bros rooms or cars.

The 'two in the pink, one in the stink' hand sign makes this picture all the better. And more college-glorious.

Besides being a douche to your friends by post-it-ing all of their personal possessions, other people got even more creative with these semi-sticky squares of paper.

7. Cranberry Juice
I really don't know if anyone drinks cranberry juice for fun or for its fantastic nutritional value. I've only ever seen it mixed with shitty vodka and other low-price liquors.

8. 'Water" and "Tobacco" pipes
Ok, who are we kidding, you guys? For the frugal college student, those corn pipes are the way to go. Who really goes to Walgreens to buy a corn pipe for smoking tobacco? If you're going to be fancy, you might as well buy a legit pipe.

As for the rest of you more fancy stoners, water pipes are the way.

8b. Apples
This also brings me to the usage of apples. I know that they are nutritious and delicious, but they are useful too. Ever since the movie "40-Year-Old Virgin," these have been a standard item for those not even fancy enough for a corn pipe.


9. Blenders
I've realized that the majority of this list is dedicated to ways to drink or break the law somehow... this just adds to that.

Whenever a young blond bimbo asks her parents to buy a blender for her dorm room because she, "Can't like, live without smoothies," you know she's full of shit. Any kid that has a blender in their dorm room is the one that makes friends the fastest and has nightly margarita parties.

10. Google
All I have to say is... spell-check.

11. Finally.... Computers.

These are meant for taking notes and studying, right? ::Sigh:: Of course not! The number one usage is to watch porn, playing sudoku and looking up 'meaty vaginas' on CollegeHumor.com during class. Honestly, how often do we legitimately use these for furthering our education?

I bet that kid in the second row first on the left is Facebooking the chick next to him. Yeah, we all see you looking down her shirt, bro. You're not fooling anyone.

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We all used to draw pictures when we were little. You know, the ones our parents put up on the fridge and what-not. Have you ever looked back on these? Once they were cute, but now they look a little bit off and can be creepy.

(This one to the left is a true winner. ...jesus...)

These artists has chosen to take these drawings and finish them to their 'full potential.' Amazingly enough, he isn't the only one to do this. Pretty good idea, eh?

SOO... These are seemingly innocent children's drawings that can also be creepy to the extreme.

Also, I must give street cred to the people who made these. So, here you go... and again.


1. Honestly, the kid's picture is way better in this one. Still haunting I might say... The red eyes make it.

2. This one is pretty gweat. I've never seen a monster quite as hairy as this guy. Also, the unsymmetrical/unevenly distributed fingers and toes add to it's undeniable charm.

3. Lyson is obviously the next big thing to hit the surrealist art scene. This rabbit-cat-bunny-man creature brings joy and solace to every viewer. I would pay 3,000USD for this. No really, I would. I would even throw in my hamster. His name is Rufiot.

4. This makes me fear the future generation.


5. Another fucking skeleton? Jesus, what are they feeding their kids? A large cup of opium tea and two helpings of shroom-doritios?


6. This one is a little different. Instead of realizing the drawing as another scary drawing, this artist decided to take it to the next level. Real life...























7. This reminds me of that movie Beetlejuice.
When what's her face gets married to what's his face. And then something happens somewhere. Ring a bell?























8. This one isn't all too scary actually. It just reminds me of that trippy/being-on-x feeling we all had as kids.























And finally...

9. This one isn't even scary. Or trippy. Well, maybe trippy.... but it is amazing.

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1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
I can only clearly remember the scene when character X (which I cannot remember the name of) gets squished by a cement flattener. Why don't things like this happen in Disney movies now-a-days? Oh, well. Although I can only remember that priceless scene, I need to revisit that movie.

Plus, don't you just love cartoon characters that give real-life characters boners? Oh, Disney, what happened to you?

So, who doesn't love poor quality animation combined with poor quality real film? OK, maybe I'm being a little hard on the 1988 film...




2. Old Atari
That's what I'm talking about. I used to hook up this epically ancient gaming system in my parents extra room to play Pole Position (which is not related to exotic dancing), Centipede, Galaxian, Pac-man, and Space Invaders -- and trying desperately to get my other game cartridges to work.

2a. Blowing NES or Atari cartridges to get them to work
This old and amazing technique seemed to work back in the day. Little did we know, we not only dislodged the dust that was preventing us from our gaming time, but we slowly ruined those damn cartridges by spraying small amounts of our adolescent spit inside of them. Oh, well... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

3. Labyrinth, Starring: David Bowie
As a child, I never realized that this film was an ode to Bowie's package. But now, I see the truth of his unfathomably tight stretch pants. Oh, and yes, that IS a picture of the official David Bowie action figure. Not something to get your bi-curious male child if you don't want him to grow up to suck on glittery cocks.

Also, I've attached a video of the worm scene. That worm was so badass.


4. War Heads and Push Pops
These two may not out rightly be related, but they are equally awesome. I remember eating war heads until my tongue would become raw from the sick sour flavor. Also, fucking push pops. Even though they made our fingers sticky, we loved them anyways.




5. Old Nickelodeon
I remember when Face ruled that channel, and when shows like Clarissa Explains It All, Kenan and Kel, All That, Hey Arnold (Oh, jesus, I can go on forever), Action League NOW! on Kaablaam!, Rocko's Modern Life (... nostalgia orgasm...), The Adventures of Pete & Pete (I would like to add that these were the only gingers that I could/can possibly- even remotly- stand), Hey Dude! and of course, Are You Afraid of the Dark? When will they bring back these fucking great classics? Oy.





6. Jelly Shoes
Ok, so this fad is biased against the men of my generation, but it still deserves a spot on this list. Jelly shoes were a fad that made no goddamn sense what-so-ever. They made our feet sweat and gave us sick blisters... but yet we thought that they were the shit. Now, surprisingly they have made a slight comeback. They are now offered in the Urban Outfitters online store. Hipsters all over the country will buy these and realize why we had previously stopped wearing them in 1997.

7. Big Wheels
Big Mother Fucking Wheels. I dedicated so much of my childhood to this toy. It was my pimped ride back in the cul-de-sac. Mine was purple and pink. ...so badass...

8. Slap on Bracelets
These were the absolute shit. I remember that you could seriously injure someone with them too. If you used them too much the fuzzy bullshit on the outside would wear off... So, basically, any toy that can double as a weapon is twice as awesome.

9. Tomagotchi
This toy was just like the easy bake oven and all baby dolls... teaching young girls to care for something when they are little so they can grow up to be dutiful wives and mothers... ::vomits:: BUT, anyways, I still liked these little things.

I actually kept one alive for 11 days! Now, imagine how well that has prepared me for motherhood... I can keep something alive for a little more than a week. yesssss....

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